Really Drunk

Really Drunk

A man is at the bar, really drunk. Some guys decide to be good samaritans and get him home.
So they pick him up off the floor, and drag him out the door. On the way to the car, he falls down three times. When they get to his house, they help him out of the car and, he falls down four more times.
They ring the bell, and one says, "Here's your husband!"
The man's wife says, "Where the hell is his wheelchair?"

source: vnn.vn

What does your Dad do?

Two small boys were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy.
"No, just the regular kind," replied Tommy.

source: vnn.vn